EDUCATED BUT UNLEARNED LADIES

hmmm....everytime i open my page....multipy....friendster..and this blog i always have to see who viewed me....and i was shocked when i saw this GIRL FROM DOWN SOUTH that she viewed me....hmmmmm...siguro may intriga na naman or kuwentong gingagawa nila na ako ang KONTRABIDA....hmmmm.....you know what girls.....i will tell you over and over again...I WON'T STOOP LOW AT YOUR LEVEL.......hmmmm....alam ko na mas mataas pinga aralan nyo kesa sa akin....but what you're acting is far beyond an EDUCATED PERSON....DAIG NYO PA ANG ISANG BULAKLAK NA MAGNDANG TINGNAN PERO PAG NILAPITAN NANGANGALINGASAW ANG TAGLAY NA KABAHUAN..ALAM NYO BA KUNG ANO UNG BULAKLAK NA YUN?I'VE KEPT MY SILENCE FOR ALMOST A YEAR NOW....I NEVER TRIED TO EXPLAIN MY SIDE KASI NAHUSGAHAN NYO NA AKO....ANO PA MAGAGAWA NG PALIWANAG KO DI BA?IISIPIN LANG NG IBA NAGMAMALINIS AKO...ADVISE KO LANG HA?GAWIN NYONG KAPANIPANIWALA ANG ROLE KO SA KWENTONG GAGAWIN NINYO...AND SPECIALLY...HUWAG NYO IDAMAY ANG MGA TAONG NANINIWALA SA AKIN....MGA TAONG SILANG MGA TUNAY NA KAIBIGAN....DON'T PRETEND TO BE SOMEONE LIKE THEIR "KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOUR"...DON'T PRETEND TO BE AN ANGEL FOR YOU ARE NOT....MAGPAKATOTOO KAYO..

YOU'RE DEGRADING THE ORAGNIZATION YOU BELONG TO GIRLS....NAKAKAHIYA.....MGA OFFICERS AND FUTURE OFFICERS PA AMNDIN MGA PARTNERS NYO...BE A REAL EDUCATED ONE..WAG KAYONG MAGING EDUKADANG WALANG PINAG-ARALAN.......

still in the world of BLUE

It feels sad being alone. I think sad is an understatement...when it becomes so grave, the sadness turns into loneliness...and if there's something lonelier than the word Lonely, that's the perfect word to describe the feeling. Some say that being alone doesn't necessarily mean you're also lonely. It's relative. I think. The more friends I gain, the more I feel alone. It's so cold and having someone means no more coldness, no more being alone, no more gloomy days...It's different when you have someone who will always be with you no matter how hideous and ugly you are, no matter how dumb and stupid your ways are, no matter how corny your jokes are. It's really different...friends wouldn't suffice this time. Being alone is a sad, shady and dark state to be at. Especially when you see people happy together, you start to compare yourself to them. How content and happy they are, and how sad, lost and miserable you are. You would even reach to a point of pretending that you're happy...and the only way for you to escape the shame is just be ALONE. Sometimes I would just hide and conceal myself...for people not to see me alone. Self denial comes in...Fighting the sad truth of solitude is like accepting the fact that no matter how you struggle for something, you'll still end up losing...

Hearing love songs only give you sad memories of the past...not because of anything, but for the sole reason of you failing...Failing to succeed in a relationship and because of that failure, up until now, you're alone...still ALONE. A bitter dose of this so called reality.

I miss falling in love. I miss saying I love you to someone...I miss the feeling of missing someone...Of loving someone...being hurt not because I'm sad...being disappointed not because I am alone...I miss FEELING. It's just so unfair…life is really unfair.

Sheesh…This is too much.

long vacation

october 31....

10:30 am....we were in a bus bound for region 2....yiiih!!!!i was soo excited to reach home!!!!haaayz!!!!i miss my "pamangkins" and my cousins....my friends way back elementary and high school....and the cool fresh air.....

the usual 8 hour trip to vizcaya took us almost 10 hours because of the traffic at plaridel, bulacan and cabanatuan city, nueva ecija....haaay...kapagod!!!

november 1....

i woke up at 6am and went straight home....i slept over at ate gay's(ajah's elder sister)house for we reached the barrio already 2 in the morning and our compound was too dark..they are all fast asleep....hmmm..takot ako maglakad papasok sa amin kasi may multo dun e...nyahahah!!!true!!may multo dun...

i went straight to antie cora's house to see my newest pamangkin to joana..my 19 year old cousin(inunahan na ako...)..hmm the baby was soo cute!!!!grabe!!!buti na lang nagmana sa lahi anmin..maganda!!!nyahaha!!!

around 11 in the morning i went to bayombong with ate jang(my cousin-in-law)..we fetched my little sister in ate jang's house where she lives..and went staright to the cemetery to visit my uncle's tomb...

at 4pm we went back to solano....i visited my friends and gee!!!i saw my first love!!!!hmmm....no more jittery feelings!!swear!!!i miled at him and i caught him staring at me the way he used to...na para bang sinasabi nya na namimiss na ako!!!waaah!!!!assuming!!!!

at 6pm i met with my friend dhex...as usual...we ate lomi at the childrens park..

at 8pm i went home...

november 2..

hmmm.....grabeh!!!!!general cleaning!!!!prax(my little sis) and i cleaned the house....remove all unwanted things...dust...cobwebs...whew!!!hirap talaga pag lalaki lang nakatira sa bahay e...

at 3pm..we went to solano cemetery to visit my father's, aunt's and grandma's tomb....

at 5..prax went to straight home....and i as usual went to my friend, ate lai's place..unfortunately she wasn't there...i've waited till 6 and decided to go home...when i was waiting for a tricycle..tette(my first bf's nick) who was ate lai's neighbor went outside...smiled at me and remarked"ui!!naka red!!baka sumabog tayo..soulmate talag tayo!!", heheheh...i smiled....and i think i blushed...kasi lumabas ung asawa nya and narinig ung sinabi ni tette..

november 3...aja and her family and i went to mapalyao falls...yiiiiiiih!!i missed that place!!!as in!!!wow!!!!ang ganda!!!here are the pics....

sa may bato yan....sa tinatalunan namin...

..

this one was taken from the hanging bridge..may hanging bridge po jan na dalawa....

hmmm..ilan lang yan....i fell inlove with the place the first time i went there when i was in 2nd year high school... november 4...went to market and bought some veggies for our stocks here.. at 9:45...was in a baliwag bus bound for sampaloc... november 5...at 5am...arrived at apartment.....back to the city again!!!!

happy birthday!!!

yesterday was his birthday....the man who used to make me smile with no reasons at all....the man who gave me the sweetest smile i've ever seen....tha man who used to be my life...

just sad that i can't even greet him on his special day.....so i just whispered my birthday wides for hin through Our God Almighty....that his wishes be granted and that may He guide him through his journey...that may He give him enough strength to face all the challenges he will be going through...

kahit di mo to mabasa...i am wishing you all the best taht you deserve..

happy,happy,happy birthday to you!!!!

a poem from him

the more i wanted to move on.. is the more i find it hard to get through....... i long to see your face again.... to look into your eyes and see....... the love that is meant for me....... i've been pretending i am ok...... because i want to hide from the feeling....... instead i find myself in tears and in deep pain.... i feel so alone and lonely............ and emptiness lingers in my heart........ i know our hearts still wanted to hold on......... to the love we have...... i dont know how and i dont know when..... or if this will ever end.......... letting you go is too painful for me........ i know you're hurt too and i can see it............. in your eyes............ i did'nt want this to end.......... someday hapiness will find its way to our hearts.......... when all that our heart could wish for will be given in God's perfect time.......... i still think of you as often as i breathe.......... thank you for the gift of love.......... i treasure you in my heart........ and there you will be kept......... where nobody can ever replace you........   *this poem is not originally mine...i was just the editor!!eheheh...this is a poem gave to me by my first love....the guy who hurt me the most but i know he loved me the most....

love fades

We often don't feel
Love each and every day
Just the same it's there
And will never fade away

Just like the ocean tide
Coming in and going out
At times our love's so strong
Other times is seldom felt

In those times of wondering
When love is placed in doubt
We must only remember
Our love has not run out

God in all His splendour
Knows just how we feel
He knows true love goes deeper
Than our feelings that seem real

So don't be depending
On feelings everyday
Love is always there
But feelings fade away.

My Ideal Man

hmmm..xempre namn ayaw ko namng tumandang dalaga no?

kahit namn sino may ideal partner di ba?hmm..let me share mine...

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  maginoo pero medyo bastos...
  
  
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  lalaking kaya akong mahalin sa kung sino at kung ano ako
  
  
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  mentally healthy
  
  
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  spiritually healthy
  
  
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  physically fit
  
  
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  malakas!!para kaya nya akong buhatin pag ako'y lasing...
  
  
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  ung kayang makipagsabayan sa akin sa alak!!nyahahah!!!
  
  
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  marunong lumangoy..kasi baka pag lumubog ang barkong sasakyan namin ako pa ang magliligtas sa kanya...
  
  
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  ung kayang umakyat ng buko para sa akin..i love it ko kasi ang buko e..
  
  
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  may abs!!!!hmmm..yummmy un e..
  
  
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  malambot ang lips..
  
  
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  maganda ang smile....
  
  
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  macho!!!as in...ung lalaking tingnan..
  
  
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  malapad ang shoulders...hmmm....
  
  
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  athletic...
  
  
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  ung mahilig umakyat ng bundok kasi bulubundukin ang sa amin...
  
  
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  syempre iyong kaya niya akog buahyin no?
  
  
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  at ang pinaka!!!!!ung......healthy ang lungs....para di xa kulangin ng hangin.....nyahahah!!!!uuuy seryoso yan!!!!

toinks!!!!!awan kabulatawan lang datoy kadi!!!!heheheheh....